Community Resource List (Click to open PDF)

MVES Family Resources (Click to open PDF)

BULLYING OR CONFLICT  

Bullying happens. It happens to our children and it happens to us adults. Bullying cannot be tolerated. Unfortunately, society uses this term to describe just about any situation in which someone says or does something hurtful. Overuse of the term “bullying” negates the seriousness of the issue.

In an effort to educate our children and stop bullying, we must understand the different types of hurtful behaviors and teach our children the correct terminology. We also must help our children learn how to handle conflict. Conflict is a natural part of interacting with others. Sometimes, conflict can lead to bullying, or the use of force or threat to abuse and aggressively dominate someone else.

Children who understand the terms, use them correctly and have strategies to cope with conflict will be more resilient and healthier.

At MVES, we teach children the following terms:


Conflict is not the same as bullying. PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center offers some great information regarding the difference between conflict and bullying.

       Conflict is a disagreement or argument in which both sides express their views.

       Bullying is negative behavior directed by someone exerting power and control over another person.

Bullying is done with a goal to hurt, harm, or humiliate. With bullying, there is often a power imbalance between those involved, with power defined as elevated social status, being physically larger, or as part of a group against an individual. Students who bully perceive their target as vulnerable in some way and often find satisfaction in harming them.

In normal conflict, children self-monitor their behavior. They read cues to know if lines are crossed, and then modify their behavior in response. Children guided by empathy usually realize they have hurt someone and will want to stop their negative behavior. On the other hand, children intending to cause harm and whose behavior goes beyond normal conflict will continue their behavior even when they know it's hurting someone.

October is National Bully Prevention Month. The school counselor will teach students in grades 2-4 a lesson regarding Be a Buddy Not a Bully where the above terms are discussed. Students in Kindergarten and First grade are learning about handling conflict with Kelso’s Choices. In addition, all students are encouraged to wear ORANGE on National Unity Day. MVES is a Pacer’s Champion Against Bullying school. We want to help our children learn and use the correct terminology to effectively STOMP OUT BULLYING.

Do you need help in determining is it bullying? Here is a wonderful free flowchart entitled, Is It Bullying? created by the Guidance Alliance to help students and parents assess if the situation is bullying. Bullying is a big problem. Together we can solve it.

 CALMING RESOURCES  

Frustration, disappointment, sadness, anxiety, embarrassment and anger are very tough feelings for children to process much less know how to deal with. Helping children identify their feelings and teaching them effective coping strategies are paramount. Often children throw fits, lash out, lie, steal, and act out as a result of not having the necessary skills to handle these big emotions.  Parents and caregivers are instrumental in helping children learn how to cope. 

Right now, we all are experiencing a barrage of tough feelings and emotions. Taking a moment to take a few deep breaths and remembering to employ calming strategies always makes a big difference. When you do this, you are being a shining example of resiliency.

Using a calming or mind jar is a great way to explain to a child what happens in their mind when they get worried, upset, angry and or frustrated. Consider making a mind jar with your child and using it to talk about difficult feelings and how to calm down in order to deal more effectively with the feelings and thoughts.  

During calm times, work to help children identify different feelings and model good coping strategies. In November’s guidance lesson, we learned three healthy calming strategies.  First, we discussed elevator breathing.  This is simply a visual way for children to grasp the concept of deep breathing. In addition, we practiced counting down and push, pull, dangle.  All of these techniques give our children an opportunity to take a few moments to gather themselves instead of “popping their top”.  We used the book, Soda Pop Head by Julia Cook to introduce these positive coping strategies. Ask your child to demonstrate these strategies and encourage them to practice.

Right now, every one could benefit from practicing calming strategies. I'd encourage you to try a variety as each person, even our children, will have preferences on what activities calm them. Check out this list of 50 Calm-Down  Ideas to Try with Kids of All Ages from our friends at GoZEN!

For some more resources on dealing with tough feelings, check out the following websites.

The Center for Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning 
Check out the Family Tools section

Helping Kids Identify and Express Feelings     
Another great resource worth reviewing is the book by Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive. Here is a great point, Use the logic of left-brain to make sense out of feelings in the right. Simply telling our children to "calm down" or "stop crying" is not an effective way to help them through what Dr. Bryson calls "emotional tsunamis." Acknowledge what feeling they are experiencing and express that you are sorry they are hurting. As they become calmer, ask them to explain what upset them and help guide them through their story, while determining what triggered the meltdown.

  GIFTED/TALENTED RESOURCES  

According to the Texas Education Agency, a gifted/talented student is a child or youth who performs at or shows the potential for performing at a remarkably high level of accomplishment when compared to others of the same age, experience, or environment and who

• exhibits high performance capability in an intellectual, creative, or artistic area;
• possesses an unusual capacity for leadership; or
• excels in a specific academic field. (Texas Education Code §29.121)

Gifted/talented students need to be identified in an effort to help them achieve their potential. It is important to note that identifying a child as gifted/talented does not mean the child will be successful or doesn’t need to be taught. For instance, advanced athletes and musicians require practice and coaching. In addition, gifted/talented students often struggle with asynchronous development, overexcitabilities and perfectionism. Gifted/talented students often have an array of social and emotional needs that must be addressed to help them realize their potential.

Gifted/talented does not mean the same as being a high achiever. High achieving and gifted/talented learners have different motivations, abilities and focuses. While the two share many characteristics, gifted/talented does not necessarily mean high achieving, and a high achiever may not be gifted/talented. Students who are high achieving know what it takes to succeed and are willing to put in the time and effort necessary to be successful. A gifted/talented student, on the other hand, might demonstrate innate, advanced aptitude that may or may not translate into academic achievement.

Identification of gifted/talented students can be challenging based on student’s maturity, test taking ability and areas of giftedness/talent. The goal of identification is to help students who learn differently thrive in life. If you have a student who is gifted/talented or advanced, here are resources to enhance their learning opportunities.

Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page

NuMinds

InvestIN

Duke TIP Elementary

Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented

On the MVES campus, classroom teachers are tasked with differentiating core instruction as needed for students identified as gifted/talented. If you have questions regarding how your child is being served, please contact their homeroom teacher.

HELPING YOUR CHILD SUCCEED IN SCHOOL  

As a parent or caregiver, you are your child's first and most important teacher. When families are involved in their children’s learning both at home and at school, their children do better in school. In fact, many studies show that what the family does is more important to a child's school success than how much money the family makes or how much education the parents have. There are many ways that families can support their children's learning at home and throughout the school year. Here are some ideas to get you started!

     1) Value education.
     2) Value your child's interests.
     3) Help your child develop goals each school year.
     4) Think of you and your child's teacher(s) as a team.
     5) Read with your child twenty minutes every day.

Check out these great resources to help you along the way.

10 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed In Elementary School

A Parent's Resource Guide to Social and Emotional Learning

Child Development By Age

Common Sense Media

PBS for Parents

ReadWriteThink Parent & After School Resources

Success Center for Learning, Paris, TX

Sylvan Learning Center Mt. Pleasant, TX

PARENT GUIDE TO RESILIENCE  

Children’s problems can include an array of things. At school, many students struggle with dealing with tough emotions, managing anxiety, drama with friends, loss, and poor academic performance.  Then add the uncertainties of growing up in a pandemic and these emotions are compounded. The ability to thrive despite all of these challenges is called resilience.

Resilience is a skill and can be learned. Resilient children can better manage stress, feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Children need to understand life isn’t always going to be easy but it shouldn’t always be hard.

Object lessons are great to explain things such as resilience. For this lesson, present some common problems and then show them a rubber ball and an egg. If we don't have resilience, we will crack under pressure. If we have resilience, we can bounce back like the rubber ball. Here is another great example to explain to the concept of resiliency to children using the airplane example from Beyond Blue.

According to About to Kids Health:

Resilient children may display the following qualities:

• demonstrates a genuine interest in school
• solves problems effectively
• assertive and capable of showing initiative
• empathetic toward others
• responsible and trustworthy
• sets and attains realistic goals
• maintains a sense of purpose and a positive outlook on life
• can act independently (autonomous)
• asks for support when needed

Check out this great FREE resource provided by the WhyTry Program especially for parents who want to help build more resilient children.

The Parent Guide to Resilience